The Ballydeelin Research and Development Group have been working on a match box full of tiny flame-haired witches who are anti-arson. A spokesman for the Group had to concede that in every box there's bound to be one or two who are pro-arson, and will actively encourage people to set things on fire. The spokesman also admitted that most of the witches are pro-smoking.

John Thousand-Percent has just unveiled his latest invention. It's a street sign that says 'Cindi Lauper Street' when no one is looking at it. When he was asked if other names could be used on the sign he said, "No, just Cindi Lauper."

A mini-bus with the ghosts of Al Capone and Judy Garland estimating how long they'd spend kissing if they were alive. Its inventor says he has the charts to prove it.

A motorised scooter with a satellite navigation system that says 'weeeeeeeeeeeeee! ahh!' when you start moving.

Ping Hennigen has been working on robots recently. Following the success of his butler robot, he's just unveiled robots that are capable of performing Irish dances and pulling wires out of walls. An expert on Irish dancing said they shouldn't be flailing their arms about and shouting 'Help, help!' while dancing, but another expert said he thought it added a degree of urgencey to the performance. Ping says he can get them to stop flailing their arms, but it involves removing their heads.

The Ballydeelin Research and Development Group are working on a widescreen TV that's light enough to be carried by a donkey. During a recent press conference, they were forced to concede that it depends on the donkey, but they insist that their donkey was able to carry it over rough terrain up a hill. They carried their own camping equipment.

A fake beard that eats itself when you're attacked by pirates.