The Ballydeelin Research and Development Group have distanced themselves from the statements attributed to one of its members during a press conference to unveil their latest research into gambling. During the question and answer session at the end, it emerged that he believes Wednesday to be something knitted by Tuesday. When he was asked where Tuesday comes from he said, "I don't know for definite, but I think it's something painted onto the gable end of my house by Monday. I'd have to observe the gable end of my house before answering that definitively."

A spokesman for the Group claimed that his remarks were taken out of context and rejected reports that he has been staring at the gable end of his house ever since the press conference. They have also asked local teenagers to stop throwing cans at him.

Sinker Daly has released the latest version of his automated wedding planner. The groom now comes in three different shades of grey. He has denied ever using a cat as a bride.