Sinker Daly has invented shoes that will take you home from the pub at night so you don't have to drive.

They may choose to take the scenic route home. The shoes are waterproof, so they won't break down in the middle of a lake or a river. After numerous experiments, Sinker has found that most of the drinkers in the pub have waterproof heads, so they won't need to worry about a trip underwater.

6:26 AM

Ping Hennigen has built a factory near the woods. It's invisible for most of the day. You can only see it for a few minutes at twilight. The factory will produce some of Ping's recent inventions, such as a battery that you can recharge by filling it with milk. A single cow is powering all of his electrical appliances. He's also invented a hearing aid that you can wear in your eye. It's powered by one of his milk batteries. He's currently working on roses in tablet form. He says they'll be ideal for Valentine's Day.

3:35 AM

Needle Murphy has created a cardboard cut-out of himself to meet the politicians who are calling at his door for the upcoming local and European elections. He says it's the smell that fools them. He's spent years developing a scent that will fool politicians into believing that the cardboard cut-out is human. You can order a cut-out of yourself from Needle's company. He denies reports that his wife has run off with his cardboard cut-out after claiming that the cardboard version of him was better in bed.

These are some of the politicians who have been calling at Needle's door:

3:07 AM

Noel Garplogner grows his own clothes in his orchard. He says he's completely self-sufficient. The harvest last autumn brought him more than enough clothes for winter, as well as Christmas presents for his relatives. He's selling seeds for clothes trees.

6:56 AM

Eileen Curlearbee has invented a shampoo that makes your hair drunk. She came up with the idea after her cousin Kevin once shouted so loudly that the hairs on his head came to life and started fighting each other.

Luckily, he found a hair dresser who was able to subdue his hair. Eileen claims that her shampoo will also subdue your hair in situations like this. Some people have said that the shampoo is only likely to make them fight more, but Eileen claims that after applying the shampoo you'll be able to shout as loudly as you want and you won't wake your hair.

4:23 AM

Trucie Gallagher's latest invention is a headless robot. A mechanical mouse will explore the robot's surroundings, and will then send radio messages back to the robot to guide it. The mouse will be able to go anywhere a normal mouse would go.

The robot spends most of its time looking for its head. Trucie doesn't know if the mouse is making him do this or if he's doing it of his own accord. He built a headless robot because his most recent robot kept scratching its head. He should never have given this robot a cheap wig and the ability to feel itches.

4:40 AM

Needle Murphy claims to have created the perfect pint of stout. You'll go through three different emotions as you drink it. The first is a feeling of ecstacy, which is followed by a fear that you're being followed by a gorilla. The final stage is depression. In the early stage's of the drink's development, the depression came first and the ecstacy last, but in tests Needle found that people stopped drinking after one pint if it left them in a state of ecstacy. They went to the park to run around in circles or they built hovercrafts.

3:57 AM