Trucie Gallagher unveiled his latest invention yesterday. It's a vampire bat that he trained to be a key ring. He guarantees that you'll never lose your keys again, unless the bat gets lost, or hides because he's angry with you (Trucie has also trained the bat to understand the concept of its own birthday, and he says the bat would be very upset with you if you forgot that). He also trained the bat to say 'yes' or 'no' when you ask the question 'is that my foot?'. A member of The Ballydeelin Research and Development Group has said that the bat says 'yes' in a very funny way when you ask 'is that my neck?'. Trucie says you're not supposed to say 'is that my neck?'.

The Ballydeelin Research and Development Group have revealed that they're working on stair steps that say things when you stand on them. Some of the basic phrases used by the steps will by 'have you lost weight?', or 'no, that's not creaking, it's just... it's just Jimmy; he's digging a hole'.

4:28 AM