Ping Hennigen has invented a computerised voice box that will come up with an excuse for any awkward situation you find yourself in -- you just have to move your lips to the sound of the voice. It can be set to say either 'It was you who said it was a fire engine' or 'A goat ate my shoe'.

The Ballydeelin Research and Development Group have given their approval to the voice box, but they've cast doubt over another other recent invention by Ping: jumping over a microphone on a BMX. Critics have suggested that it's not really an invention at all, and that he came nowhere near jumping over the microphone anyway. They say he cycled into a wall and said, "I'm going for a shower."

This comes just a few months after the Group dismissed the glass he invented. They also questioned his claim to have invented a coat that will make you invisible at weekends. They pointed out that Ping tends to get lost in the forest a lot.

7:02 AM