The Ballydeelin Research and Development Group have recently been examining an invention by a local woman, Mrs. Tree-Placename. In their report, they say they are satisfied that it's not a 'clairvoyant TV' that will show you the future, but that it's really just a video of Mrs. Tree-Placename doing various exercises and saying, "Where am I? Am I... I thought I was there, but am I? This is really spooky. Where am I now? Oooh. I don't know where I am. This is really, really spooky." Mrs. Tree-Placename says she knew they would say that, and she insists her TV is over seventy percent effective.

Our local hang man, 'Curly' Forenoon, has been out of work for a while due to the lack of hangings. Over the past few years he's had moderate success as an inventor. His most ambitious project was a symphony orchestra who are incapable of perceiving rats. But he's given up the inventing and he's turned his hand to writing children's books, hoping to present a more positive image of his profession. His first book is called 'Toy Toy Happy Day Puppy Toy Puppy Toy Hanging', and it goes on sale next week.

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