The Ballydeelin Research and Development Group are nearing the completion of their work on a chimney brush that cannot be detected by radar. They have strongly rejected reports that seven orphans were killed while they were developing this brush. They say that one orphan glued a ruler to his head in a completely unrelated incident, and that this has been exagerated to the story about the death of seven orphans.

They have recently announced the results of research from last Christmas. They say that 25% of all accidents with Christmas trees happen as a result of an argument about how to spell the word 'oceanography'. The other 75% are the result of trying to get a pet falcon to wear the clothes that 'Santa' brought it. They have asked people to bear these statistics in mind over the Christmas period.

4:15 AM