The Ballydeelin Research and Development Group have recently been looking at ways to get more students into technology related subjects, and as part of their research they have found that Goths are drawn to courses like Marine Biology, whereas New Romantics will go for either medicine or a job in their father's farm machinery company.

Researchers have also found that 100% of all Goths will write 'it was a badger' on Davy Fenton's 'get well' card. 33.33% of Goths will have played the part of a submarine in a school play when they were nine. 100% of punks will blame a hole in the ground for an amazing last minute miss that cost Ballydeelin the match in the Junior B hurling, and will threaten people with a meat hook if they question his story about the hole, then be subjected to weeks of ridicule, with people calling him Thomas to remind him of the time he answered 'Thomas the Tank Engine' in the final question of a table quiz, when the correct answer was a caravan, before finally snapping and spray-painting the words 'I don't care if it was Jumbo the ___ Elephant, I'll still ___ ___ ___ ___ with a ___ meat hook' across the dressing rooms. Isn't that right, Jimmy?