The Ballydeelin Research and Development Group have been conducting experiments on wind-generated electricity. One of them has learnt how to play the flute. They point out that if the electric shock from their windmill was as mild as some people claim, it would have had little or no effect on him, but he learnt to play the flute. Critics point out that if the shock was as strong as it should have been, he'd never have chosen to learn an instrument that would make a perfect lightning conductor.

Sinker Daly has been thinking about the planets. He says it started out as a way to avoid thinking about his socks, but he found the planets fascinating and he started planning a mission to Mars. Work on that is temporarily on hold while he thinks about his socks again. Someone suggested that he think of them as twins, and this has made them much easier to understand. He's enjoying the clarity of his socks at the moment, but he hopes to return his thoughts to Mars within the next week.

A miniature Shakespeare whose eyes will follow your every movement. The inventor, Sleepy Thistleton, claims that in tests Shakespeare was able to cling onto a subject's arms for over sixty hours, despite numerous attempts to remove him. A spokesman for The Ballydeelin Research and Development Group has questioned the value of these tests. He pointed out that only a limited amount of explosives could have been used in these attempts to remove Shakespeare because of the close proximity of the subject's arm to the subject. Sleepy responded by saying, "Love can be more powerful than any explosive." He made a female Shakespeare who clung to the subject's free arm. He told us that he discovered the power of love when his wife tried to shoot him in the back.

A computer program that will convert all your home movies into German films. Its inventor denies that it just adds Hitler moustaches to people's faces. This is what he says to his critics, but he accepted the claim when he was talking to someone who thought the Hitler moustaches were very funny on babies.

A robot who'll calmly alert you when your flies are undone. This is another one of Ping Hennigen's robots. He's been working on calm robots recently, after a series of inventions that antagonised farm animals. The calm robots have organised an illegal betting ring, which Ping has taken as a sign of just how calm they are.

Springs for your shoes for when you have a long way to go to talk to an ant.