A ___ with a ___ ___ and a ___ that makes you instantly rich. The blanks to be filled in by Stephen Hawking and Richard Branson.

A treasure map, a spider and a honey jar. Can be used to generate electricity.

The Ballydeelin Research and Development Group are nearing the completion of their work on a chimney brush that cannot be detected by radar. They have strongly rejected reports that seven orphans were killed while they were developing this brush. They say that one orphan glued a ruler to his head in a completely unrelated incident, and that this has been exagerated to the story about the death of seven orphans.

They have recently announced the results of research from last Christmas. They say that 25% of all accidents with Christmas trees happen as a result of an argument about how to spell the word 'oceanography'. The other 75% are the result of trying to get a pet falcon to wear the clothes that 'Santa' brought it. They have asked people to bear these statistics in mind over the Christmas period.

A voice-activated light designed to be confused by the word 'melons'.

A lightning conductor that hides under trees.

Glasses that pixelate the faces of people you don't want to see.

The Ballydeelin Research and Development Group have dismissed claims by Mr. Ping 'Igloo' Hennigen that he has invented a type of glass that can't be broken by a sledge hammer. They point to the fact that he's involved in a long-running dispute with a goose.

They have also announced that they're working on a caravan that can sense when it's falling off a cliff and contact the appropriate emergency service, either the coast guard or paramedics. They're yet to find a way of identifying which of these services should be called before the caravan has landed.

A cat flap that can be set to good or evil.

A space ship for barn owls that will take them as far as Clonmel.