Wednesday, August 31, 2005

An Ironing Board

An ironing board that can find its own way home.

4:25 AM

Monday, August 29, 2005

A Hat Stand

A hat stand that emits a scent to make it look like an attractive female leprechaun to male leprechauns.

5:32 AM

Friday, August 26, 2005

A Hat

A hat with a ukelele which it refuses to return to its rightful owner.

8:29 AM

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Crisps

Crisps that become butterflies in August.

3:54 AM

Monday, August 22, 2005

A Camera

A camera that will notify the authorities when you point at sheep with a stick.

4:33 AM

A Fire Alarm

A fire alarm that will explain your behaviour in a Freudian way.

4:31 AM

Thursday, August 18, 2005

A Piano

A piano for professional wrestlers.

4:13 AM

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

A Watch

A watch that will tell you when your horse is in love.

4:24 AM

A Poltergeist Detector

A poltergeist detector that blames a poltergeist every time it sets a caravan on fire.

4:23 AM

False Teeth

False teeth with the mentality of the British prisoners of war in 'Bridge Over the River Kwai'.

4:22 AM

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

A Slate

A crime-solving slate that will always accuse Kojak of being the criminal.

4:17 AM

A Camel

A camel with an interest in radiators.

4:17 AM

Footballs

Footballs that reinforce gender stereotypes.

4:16 AM

Middle Earth

Middle Earth.

4:15 AM

Monday, August 15, 2005

A Sundial

A sundial that will dig a hole in the ground and live there.

5:34 AM

An Ant Magnet

An ant magnet.

5:33 AM

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Furniture Polish

Furniture polish that may or may not be the legal guardian of a tennis prodigy.

4:22 AM

Friday, August 12, 2005

Cigarettes

Cigarettes that eagles can easily steal.

8:12 AM

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Angel Detectors

Angel detectors that can also be thrown at goats.

4:10 AM

Rope

A piece of rope that's longer than Steve McQueen.

4:09 AM

A Duck's Silhouette

A duck's silhouette that will be deemed winners of the UEFA Cup in any court of law.

4:08 AM

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

A Drum Machine

A drum machine with a herd of sheep, which it has lost.

4:04 AM

A Bath

A bath with a degree in eye surgery from an online university.

4:04 AM

Paint

Paint that can communicate with dolphins.

4:03 AM

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

A Hamster

A hamster that can be used as a credit card.

4:05 AM

A Stair Lift

A stair lift designed to create the impression of unrequited love.

4:03 AM

Monday, August 08, 2005

Automated Wedding Planner

An automated wedding planner that only rarely gets sick.

4:31 AM

Robotic Vacuum Cleaner

A robotic vacuum cleaner. Needs to be used as the manager of a small farm when not in use as a vacuum cleaner.

4:30 AM

A Lightning Conductor

A lightning conductor that plays 'Karma Police' by Radiohead.

4:28 AM

Friday, August 05, 2005

Shoes

Shoes that tell you how related you are to the trees you fall out of.

7:58 AM

A Pig

A pig that can pose for photos while holding a small watering can.

7:57 AM

Thursday, August 04, 2005

A Javellin

A javellin capable of fooling monkeys into thinking that it's an abandoned baby so the monkeys will adopt it as one of their own.

5:31 AM

An Igloo

An igloo with a fridge and a light bulb that pretends to work by humming TV theme tunes.

5:31 AM

A Box

A box that falls over when a squirrel turns his back.

5:30 AM

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

A Room

A room with an atmosphere conducive to the seduction of Smurfs by badgers.

4:26 AM

A Frisbee

A Frisbee that has puppies.

4:25 AM

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

A Trampoline

A trampoline that becomes smaller when you set it on fire.

4:09 AM

Long Distance Learning

A long distance learning course conducted using sunburn.

4:09 AM

Chocolates

Chocolates which can also be used to kill centipedes.

4:08 AM

Monday, August 01, 2005

Superman

Superman with a fake moustache to make him look like Batman.

5:32 AM

Eleven Fridges

Eleven fridges.

5:31 AM

Bicycle Bells

Bicycle bells that will combine to become the capital of Austria in 2016.

5:30 AM