Needle Murphy has invented a wig that collects and stores rain water. It uses the water to make beer.
Trucie Gallagher will be unveiling his new bike tomorrow. As the wheels go around they make a noise that will frighten dogs and birds. He gets chased by dogs every time he goes for a bike ride, and birds are always flying into his mouth. He hates when this happens, especially when the birds refuse to come out the way they went in. He's working on a noise that will frighten snails and make them run up the sleeves of the people who throw snails at him.
Sinker Daly has invented shoes that will take you home from the pub at night so you don't have to drive.
They may choose to take the scenic route home. The shoes are waterproof, so they won't break down in the middle of a lake or a river. After numerous experiments, Sinker has found that most of the drinkers in the pub have waterproof heads, so they won't need to worry about a trip underwater.
Ping Hennigen has built a factory near the woods. It's invisible for most of the day. You can only see it for a few minutes at twilight. The factory will produce some of Ping's recent inventions, such as a battery that you can recharge by filling it with milk. A single cow is powering all of his electrical appliances. He's also invented a hearing aid that you can wear in your eye. It's powered by one of his milk batteries. He's currently working on roses in tablet form. He says they'll be ideal for Valentine's Day.
Needle Murphy has created a cardboard cut-out of himself to meet the politicians who are calling at his door for the upcoming local and European elections. He says it's the smell that fools them. He's spent years developing a scent that will fool politicians into believing that the cardboard cut-out is human. You can order a cut-out of yourself from Needle's company. He denies reports that his wife has run off with his cardboard cut-out after claiming that the cardboard version of him was better in bed.
These are some of the politicians who have been calling at Needle's door:
Noel Garplogner grows his own clothes in his orchard. He says he's completely self-sufficient. The harvest last autumn brought him more than enough clothes for winter, as well as Christmas presents for his relatives. He's selling seeds for clothes trees.
Eileen Curlearbee has invented a shampoo that makes your hair drunk. She came up with the idea after her cousin Kevin once shouted so loudly that the hairs on his head came to life and started fighting each other.
Luckily, he found a hair dresser who was able to subdue his hair. Eileen claims that her shampoo will also subdue your hair in situations like this. Some people have said that the shampoo is only likely to make them fight more, but Eileen claims that after applying the shampoo you'll be able to shout as loudly as you want and you won't wake your hair.
